closeness, abuse and resentment
May 26, 2008Closeness, abuse and resentment, it’s a slippery slope.
You start getting close to someone, you share, you feel comfortable, it feels safe, it’s relieving, you get all those marvellous things: communication, self-expression, understanding, sympathy.
Then comes the misuse and abuse. You’ve shared too much, you’ve given too much; now the other knows you well, in and out, and that is an strategic edge. It doesn’t take much, just one abusive comment. That which you shared when you felt comfortable, now turned against you. Pain.
Life goes on, and the abusive comments succeed themselves, briefly, here and there, just when you expect them less. You haven’t forgotten, and you start seeing a pattern. You feel resentment.
Resentment grows inside you, bigger and bigger, until you can’t live any more with it. You are so aware of it, and so aware of your vulnerability, you start pulling out; you can’t share any longer, because you’ve run out of trust.
It usually takes a lot longer than reading this post, but it’s known to happen.